Back in the days when I used to go to catholic church every Sunday, we used to sing the Lord's prayer and raise our voices on a part which said "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" . Back then, I couldn't think much about it until it appeared to me one day that if God forgave us the same way we forgive others, we couldn't probably survive even for a day.
Most of the time, I find myself in situations which leave me wondering if forgiveness is really possible. If it is possible, do people find it easy to forgive? Does forgiving necessarily mean forgetting?
When I asked same questions on my WhatsApp status, most of my status viewers agreed that forgiveness is possible but the way they answered the rest of questions contradicted to what they first said that forgiveness was possible. In Kinyarwanda, forgiveness means " kubabarira", a word which can be broken into two parts. The verb " kubabara "(to feel pain) and the suffix " ira"( which when added to some verbs means an act you do for another person; for instance guhingira,gukurikira ,...)
Basing on this, we could say that forgiveness means feeling pain in place of someone who should be feeling pain because of hurting you.
People find it easy or difficult to forgive depending on which mistake one did to them. If it is a petty mistake, they forgive easily but if it is a big mistake, that is where they draw line and choose revenge sometimes. If you look closer, you can see that many people mistake forgiveness from tolerance. You may think that they are the same but forgiveness is self care while tolerance is sometimes self sabotaging. Some people choose forgiveness (or let's say tolerance) just because they fear or don't believe in revenge so, they choose the less painful way (which is of course forgiving.)
Most people also say that forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. One could wonder if that is not holding grudges but humans are made in such way that they rarely forget what made them sad even after a very long time so, they can't help it. The more you forgive , the more you trust less and the more you draw strict boundaries of lasers around your fragile parts so that whoever dares hurt you will break into pieces before they reach you.
With all these ,I can say that forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves for the sake of our peace of mind. To me, forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting because that would mean letting valuable life lessons slip . I mean, if someone hurt you once, it's their mistake but when they do it twice with your consent, it is stupidity and no one likes being stupid. Forgiveness is possible but it is for the brave and bravery comes from He who forgives us our trespasses even when He knows we will mess up again.
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